February and 36 weeks!

It's official: 36 weeks pregnant! We have just over 3 weeks until my scheduled C-section. Timothy is determined to be breach. I still feel amazingly good: more like I am in my second trimester than my third. I also notice that Timothy really doesn't like storms: He sleeps through them, so even though most of the time he is squirmy as can be, for the last few stormy days, he has hardly moved at all. I wonder if the storms put pressure on his back? But what woke him up, was the earth quake that we had on Friday the 15th at 5 AM. It was just the smallest bump, almost like we ran over a pothole on the freeway, but it freaked him out! He danced and wiggled for a long time after!  He has been much more alert since the storms stopped.

   Here is a cute family picture I found. I love Angelo's face!
   I think I am in my nesting phase: I keep wanting to wash walls and baseboards and yesterday, we painted an accent wall in my living room and hung new curtains. Our old ones were threadbare. I am always trying to find an excuse to get out of the house for last "hurrah's" before we'll be confined to the hospital. On Friday, we also had Michael and Evelyn go surfing!

 Michael got really good at being able to stand at the end!

Jumping in from the top!

  I would like to write more of my thoughts about having Timothy soon. I am so excited to meet little Timothy, but scared of the pain he will have to experience at first. I am a little nervous of what his symptoms may be, but also very hopeful that we will be surrounded by miracles and he will be a strong and healthy little boy. I hope that one of those miracles will be that he will orient himself the right way so that I don't have to recover from surgery myself while trying to help him recover from his surgery. But I am also eager to face whatever and make the most of it. I know we are in for the adventure of our lives and that this sweet pure little man was meant for our family at this time.

6 months with Timothy

 I am now officially 6 months pregnant with our little boy! It has been a thrilling and yet very emotional journey. We feel a very strong connection with this baby. As Evelyn has said, "He's already here, even though he isn't born yet." He is a very wiggly little boy: he just loves to dance, and he loves to hear his daddy talk or sing to him. He also really likes Evelyn's guitar playing, and when we sing in harmony. We have such a strong connection, that we have chosen his name already, and I finished his stocking! His name is Timothy.
Here is the stocking I made for him: it is Goofy as the Marley door knocker. It is really neat to have 5 stockings hanging on the wall!

 Here are my 6 months pregnant pictures. While Evelyn was taking the pictures, she suddenly lowered the camera with a shocked expression on her face. "Was that the baby kicking?!" She exclaimed. I guess she saw my whole stomach rolled. It was she first time she has been able to see his movements, even though I've been watching him for a few months now.

 We are very blessed to have monthly ultrasounds and MRI pictures. The reason for this is because he has been diagnosed with Spina Bifida. His spine is open down near his tailbone and he will need surgery as soon as he is born. We are watching his brain closely to see if he will have hydrocephalus. The last ultrasound we had, they were so sweet to give us a 4D picture of him, because we haven't gotten a good shot of his profile or face since he was about 12 weeks. Look at those big full lips! He looks a lot like Evelyn besides those lips!

Catching up from Halloween

 These are just cute pictures of Evelyn: she has grown about 6 inches this year! She is getting so clever too! We were asking her about a piece of art that really resonated with her. She thought for a moment, and then stated: "Once I saw a billboard for the Habit: that really inspired me!"

  Evelyn's favorite thing this year has been raptors: she fell in love with Blue the Raptor in Jurassic World. She has been practicing her raptor walk and her raptor talk. Then for Halloween, we found a raptor mask, and she just HAD to have it! She bought it with her very own money! Then I bought her the jumpsuit to go with it. She had to wear that mask everywhere: even to the dentist.

Evelyn was so realistic looking in her costume: especially in the dark! She would come running up in her mask, screeching, and it was very intimidating! She made a few people startle during trick or treating. But she hasn't just worn her costume during Halloween. She still frequently wears it: in fact, for Thanksgiving, she did a talent show where she ballet danced in her raptor costume. 

 Here is Michael and Evelyn carving pumpkins. We didn't do a ton of Halloween traditions beyond this. We also started a new diet of whole foods only: so we threw away most of the Halloween candy and made our own chocolate with honey!

Pregnant! Finally!

   After two rounds of in vitro, Michael and I finally got that real positive pregnancy result! We are now 16 weeks along! We will find out this week what we are having. Evelyn is thrilled: she will be like a second mother as she will be 11 years old when the baby is born. We are due March 16th.
  We were originally pregnant with twins: but we lost Baby B on week 9. Baby A is healthy and strong and I have felt him/her kicking me since about week 13! 
After 11 years, it feels so unreal. We felt like our family was established, and it feels like a dream come true to have--can I call it a 2nd chance at parenthood?

Summer Memories 2018

This year we had a house guest! It was a little baby hummingbird. We found this hummingbird sitting behind the tire of a truck and we were worried it was going to be run over. Also, it was cheeping constantly, and not making any move to fly away. We looked around to try and find its nest, but couldn't find it, and there wasn't really a tree we could put it in either. 

 We put the poor little thing in a flowering plant in hopes it would drink: it seemed so dehydrated! But it didn't move. Come to find out, hummingbirds like red, orange and pink flowers the best, so maybe that was the problem. But as it sat there peeping its distress cry, I got really worried that a cat would come find it, so I took it home. We made it a little nest in a cardboard box and prepared it sugar water. It almost dove into the sugar water! We knew we could only feed it like that for a day, though, so we prayed that the poor little things would mature enough over night to fly away the next day.

 Evelyn loved her new "pet", and we decided to name it "Cricket" because of the constant tiny peeps it emitted. They were about as loud as a little cricket's. We fed it regularly, (its little tongue would flick in and out of its hollow beak so quickly to lick our fingers!) and the next day released it back onto the tree outside our condo. We checked on it regularly and were a bit alarmed when it still didn't fly away or make any attempt to move, but later in the day, an adult hummingbird started feeding it: I guess it heard the little peeps too. I wonder if it was the mother, or just a kindly hummingbird as we were a few blocks away from where we originally found it.

 Eventually, Cricket did fly off: we watched as he flew across the street and directly into the red tail-light of a parked car. I wonder if that's why it was under the car the first time we found it?! That is not a red flower, little one! We picked up and put it back in the tree. The next day it had flown. We spent the next few days checking behind taillights of parked cars to make sure it didn't make that mistake again, but we never found him again.

 During our ward camp out, we had bb gun and archery training. Evelyn loved it! She and Michael shot for over an hour, until she could no longer lift her bow with her shaky tired muscles. She was really good at it too. By the end of the practice, she got three bullseyes right in a row!

My little Ballerina

In Vitro

   Michael and I are in the middle of the In Vitro Fertilization Process. I must admit that I was terrified to make this move: I wanted more children so badly, but spending $15,000+ on a 60% chance didn't seem very financially or emotionally intelligent. I figured that I would eventually have to do it, but that would be when Michael got that million dollar check in the mail from that distant rich relative and all our money concerns disappeared. Plus, we had to balance out the unpredictable concern about my health. A couple years ago, my Rheumatologist made it sound like we shouldn't and/or couldn't have more children with the status of my health. We settled into accepting the fact that we would only have Evelyn. But last summer, my Rheumatologist totally changed her tune and told us that we could wean off the especially dangerous medication I was taking and try for fertility treatments. Michael and I instantly started creating strange ways to save up money: Like having to pay $5 per treat into our baby fund. Or not allowing ourselves to eat out. 

     In spite of that fact that we saved a ridiculous amount of money (I had no idea how much money we just waste on....whatever!) it still seemed that actually being able to afford the In Vitro process  would be years away. Then the miracle happened: Our heater broke. Before that, Michael and I wouldn't even consider going into debt for it, but when we already had to borrow money, why not consolidate all our debt, lower our payments and get enough that we can immediately pursue In Vitro? God truly works in mysterious ways. 

   So we began preparing my body and getting all the blood tests done. Our first big adventure was when Michael passed out during his blood draw. We have no idea why this happened as he routinely donates blood and they hadn't even gotten any blood yet! But we figured he just psyched himself out. He passed out twice. For one vial. I can't even count how many blood draws I have had in the last two months. This is why women have babies. 

   Then we began the hormone treatments. I had to be on 3 different shots a day: given to myself: in the belly. I was so nervous! The feeling of dread increased when Michael found out he had to go on a business trip the second day of the shots. I had been counting on him to administer the shots to me like he does the Humira! Now I would REALLY have to give myself the shots! And with an exposed needle--not a hidden pen like Humira. --In my BELLY! I forced myself  to accept it and decided to create a battle cry for when I stabbed myself with the needle. 

  When I was watching my training videos with Michael, I discovered that I wouldn't have been able to count on Michael anyway when he got woozy at the sight of the needles. He couldn't even watch the videos. 

   Surprisingly, I didn't even need the battle cry I had created for getting through my injections bravely. The shots were so easy! Tiny needles, a small amount of thin medication: I hardly felt it! I felt silly that I had been so nervous! But I think Michael felt sillier when I made him sit on the floor to watch because I really didn't want to have to catch him as he fell to the floor....but he didn't even get woozy! (Humira, by the way, is NOT an easy shot! It bruises and swells for almost two weeks: just in time for my next shot! If my in vitro shots were like that: three times a day for ten days....I didn't even know how I would handle it!)

   Tomorrow I am getting my eggs retrieved. I have learned to not sweat it. I can do hard things. Plus, I will be under anesthesia. I have 26 eggs! Its amazing what they can do with medical science! It's not remotely natural, but amazingly miraculous. I will know in three weeks  whether the process was successful.

Faux Pregnancy test.
NO, I am NOT pregnant! ....YET!

 This test was used to determine if I had done one of the shots correctly. But after all the negative tests I have taken, it was still hugely satisfying to get a positive pregnancy test, even if it isn't real. I had to document it!

Me and my 26 eggs!

  Surprisingly, I really feel like I will be okay even if we don't end up pregnant. I am simply proud of myself for the way I conducted myself, and I don't fear trying it again. We may not ever have more children, but  I am absolutely assured that God is leading me and my little family. Whatever happens, He can make right. I am filled with hope and assurance that He is there.